Another Monday without any games brings about the long-awaited return of my WNBA haikus. Well, long-awaited might admittedly be a stretch, but I did them once back at SportsPageMagazine and they went down okay, so see what you think. I was going to provide them in my standard East-West alphabetical format, but then decided it would be more fun if I left you all to guess which one applied to which team.

Therefore, 12 haikus, and extra brownie points if you work out the applicable teams and the pattern they’ve ultimately been presented in. Normal service will resume tomorrow, with more game coverage and slightly less artistic expression.

 

—–

Winds of change often

leave carnage in wake. One star

needs help to conjure.

—–

Tide can only rise

when at its lowest. Canute’s

kids may need new king.

—–

Remove the heart, the

body still beats. Finds itself.

When rejoined, beware.

—–

Joy comes from youth, speed,

surprise. Deep as the ocean,

these babies have bite.

—–

Ceaseless attack is

futile, if you’re pierced at will.

Fire burns you back.

—–

Finally, shining

torch alights. Now let’s see if

shadows can be cast.

—–

At last, promise may

deliver. Years of pain make

success taste sweeter.

—–

Chop the head off the

snake, can it still slide? Signs are

not good. Hurry back.

—–

Pairs can be strong; packs

dangerous. Surprising depths

threaten enemies.

—–

Ties from youth remain

strong. But is one school enough

when piranha lurk.

—–

Mighty oak with her

pretty friends bring hope of change.

But some paths take years.

—–

Broken blossoms, late

blooms, missing stars. Some summers

start late. Some just fade.

—–

In other news…

The big news since the last column went up is that Candace Parker’s MRI came back, and she’s out for around six weeks with a torn lateral meniscus in her right knee. That’s not nearly as bad as it might’ve been, considering the fears about ACL tears that always crop up in these situations. However, six weeks exactly would mean 13 games missed for Parker, nine of them on the road. As their best player, talisman, and sole decent rebounder, losing her for any time is obviously devastating for the Sparks. The good news is that Tulsa are in their conference, which means 80% of the real basketball teams in the West make the playoffs. If they can just manage to win maybe five of those 13 games, and she comes back on schedule and finds her rhythm quickly, the postseason remains a possibility. It just got an awful lot more difficult.

Tulsa waived center Jacinta Monroe, less than two weeks after signing her. She played 21 total minutes, scoring a grand total of zero points, and Nolan Richardson decided he’d seen enough. I covered Tulsa’s options to fill that extra roster spot before they went with Monroe, so I’ll just let you refer back to that piece. Having been forced to sit through several Andrea Riley brick parties since then, I’m desperately hoping they pick up a guard that can dribble, and preferably pass. But I’m not holding my breath.

Because I’m still disgusted by it and I enjoy people sharing my horror, check out this vicious elbow by Russian Ilona Korstin from the final two seconds of the Great Britain-Russia game at EuroBasket Women yesterday. Korstin picked up a €4,000 fine but somehow avoided any suspension from FIBA for that. Safe to say that I’ll be supporting Latvia in their efforts to dump the Russians out at the quarter-final stage tomorrow.

 

Today’s Games (already completed):

Phoenix @ Indiana, 7pm ET

Los Angeles @ Connecticut, 8pm ET

San Antonio @ Chicago, 8pm ET